Monday, October 4, 2010
We are out there
There is a secret society. It is underground in grottos and hidden by walls but we are out there. Mothers who have mental illness and are suffering, trying to take care of their children, keeping the house clean, possibly looking for a job or hoping that social security disability will come through. In this secret society are gems, mothers with minds that have infinite power and the ability to unlock doors to so many things. These mothers have fought tooth and nail to keep their children with them, struggled through divorces, made it through the first day of school, and have come through with such precise wisdom and knowledge to create a new generation of women that can live their lives gracefully. I am a part of this secret society and am proud of it. I have suffered with mental illness in the form of depression, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder for many years. I have dealt with the threats of losing my children due to my illness, the stigma that comes along with mental illness, and have had to break down doors in order to be heard. I know what it's like. I hope to get to know more women with mental illness who are caring for their children and who know how hard it is. There are many of us out there and we have been silent, quiet warriors for quite some time and it's time to reveal ourselves to the world and let people know that we are human too. We have needs and wants and desires. We want what is best for our kids, too. Just because we take medication it doesn't mean we are incapable of supplying love to our children. I hope to blog more about this issue and get some feedback from other women struggling. I know I am not alone.
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I hope 'anniebeaner' doesn't mind me posting her comment here on my new blog but it needs to be read.
ReplyDelete"I know how it feels to be a mother, working, struggling with a beautifully shattered mind, like my heart is made of broken glass reflecting darkness and light all at the same time. You aren't alone. I don't want to say that I suffer, more like I am learning to live an adults life with schizophrenia and mixed bipolar disorder (among other things.) This is hard to admit as a parent. You don't want anyone to doubt you or call you mentally ill anyway but definately not when you have children. Be open to what your doctor suggests. I hated seroquel, it made me feel like crap and eat compulsively, I am weaning off of Lithium right now and taking Abilify. Manic episodes are a little harder to "figure out" sometimes so be patient, you are doing the right thing for yourself and your baby(ies) by finding an outlet and by seeking treatment. I know I'm a stranger but trust me, there are a lot of us."
I am so excited that we are all stumbling across each other. I know in my heart that this is the start of something wonderful. It's so nice, yet breaks my heart, to know that we aren't really alone in this. Keep posting!
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