Accusations

Tonight I went over the edge and accused my fiancee of cheating on me with women he knew online. It turned out they were only friends and not girlfriends or ex's. I felt pretty stupid. We argued, even in front of the kids. It's so hard to separate space when you live in such a small house. We had pizza for dinner, I didn't feel up to cooking. Like always, I had to get the door and that was a drag for me, I never feel comfortable doing that or giving the tip, figuring it out, stuff like that. My ex-husband stopped by to see my daughters with his girlfriend and her kids in tow and everyone left in tears because they couldn't go to daddy's house tonight to sleep over, they had to wait until the weekend. It was so emotionally draining on me and the kids. I don't know if it's worth the struggle to put them through this every week. I feel like cutting off all ties and moving away would be the best thing for everyone. I'd love to live in Phoenix and have priced houses out there. It's an option, anyway.

My oldest daughter didn't want to go to school today. She said she didn't feel good. I think it's a combination of the fighting in my house, the situation with her dad, and the bully at school. I feel so bad and don't know what to do with her beyond taking her to therapy. The therapist recommended medication but I'm not sure I'm willing to go that route with a 6-year-old yet. I guess we'll wait and see.

I missed my psychiatry appointment today and my therapist appointment because of my boyfriend's job interview and arguments. I needed to go pretty badly and am not sure where to turn now, especially in lieu of not having medical insurance at the moment. My fingers are crossed that something comes through this week.

Well, that's it for now. Will update tomorrow. Be blessed and keep the faith.

Amy